Brent
Ric Your FACE is an asshole. you’re really not as funny as you think you are.Lately, your hair looks like its auditioning for the cover of gay men's quarterly.
nd peanut butter would be a better lay! 
Also as I write this I am eating ALL of your frozen kit-Kats, and I'm going to replace them with shrimp!!! YOUR FACE IS A SHRIMP!
Ric You can try.. i mean... she IS only 5 feet tall, and like a hundred pounds... but im still confident she would kick your ass. this is mostly because your 'p90x' training is really doing nothing more than turning you into even more of an effeminate metro sexual.
, the dog, AND the peanut but
ter are all seeing more action in it than i have witnessed you receive in the last 6 months. Congratulations on officially becoming a monk, by the way! the ball, so to speak. Which is a shame, since you'll no longer have the balls to take advantage.I helped you practice for that last night, while you were sleeping, by the way. Every one of those kit Kat fingers was up your ass. im sure you enjoyed both that experience, and savoring them on your tongue today
Brent In Christmas shopping today I realized that the best gift I could give myself would be to ruin your Christmas!!! So here goes:
istmas he'd want to steal would be yours, because both the fake Santa and grinch are in agreement you don't deserve one!!!
3rd: The A TEAM is not and never has been a real team. Mr T pity's the fool and you happen to be the biggest fool of them all!!! PITY PITY indeed!!!
4th: The counting crows, rarely if ever like to count crows, making your favorite band pathetic and a sham!!!
Ric First of all, since I know for a fact that your favorite CD is Boyz II Men, greatest hits... I’d say you’re playing a little fast and loose with the word 'pathetic'.
tified expert on the word 'sham'.
However, since you were so kind as to elucidate some Xmas facts for me... I figured I would return the favor in turn, by revealing the reality behind some of your childhood 'truths'.
1) Wetting the bed until you were 14 was not 'normal', despite what your mother may have told you.
1b) Its NOT okay to still have the occasional 'accident'... even if you're plastered on the 1 and a half bottles of wine cooler that is your usual limit.
2) It IS, in fact, weird that your mom breast-fed you until you were 7.
ver get her naked. You may wish to seriously consider some therapy.
3)
Uncle Tommy's 'hide the hotdog' is not a game that 'everyone plays.' Its sick that he did it then. Its WEIRD that he STILL does it now. This is not a 'holiday tradition.' This is incest. I will grant that I am not a psychiatrist. But I’m fairly certain that we've stumbled upon the root cause of your incessant need to kiss me full on the mouth when i get home from work, and why you burst into tears any time you hear the Oscar Meyer wiener song. i know you didn't ASK to be the Armour Hotdog kid at night. But it doesn’t mean you have to KEEP DOING IT NOW.
Therapy. Please. I’ll even pay for it.
3)
Uncle Tommy's 'hide the hotdog' is not a game that 'everyone plays.' Its sick that he did it then. Its WEIRD that he STILL does it now. This is not a 'holiday tradition.' This is incest. I will grant that I am not a psychiatrist. But I’m fairly certain that we've stumbled upon the root cause of your incessant need to kiss me full on the mouth when i get home from work, and why you burst into tears any time you hear the Oscar Meyer wiener song. i know you didn't ASK to be the Armour Hotdog kid at night. But it doesn’t mean you have to KEEP DOING IT NOW.Therapy. Please. I’ll even pay for it.
4) Your dog didn't get 'taken to a farm' when you were 12. And I know what you're thinking...But he didn't die, either.
to the Korean restaurant behind your house.
PS:
remember that transformer i got you that year? the one that you loved so much?
Merry Fucking Christmas.
Brent Well you crazy fucker!!!! How soon you forget that as I am in the car business I have given away ALL of my feelings, rendering me unscathed by your diatribe! As well spoken, as it was I suggest you move on to weaker prey, like, say, Kyle, your girlfriend or possibly one of the children you seem to bring home often.
n't want to bring your childhood into this as every time we wax poetic about our childhoods, you end up curled up in a ball, sucking on the end of your blanket with a finger in your ass, but seeing as I don't really give a fuck about your feelings, here goes:
1. Being spanked by your mother until you were 21 for anything from forgetting to take the trash out to molesting small cats isn't normal. What is even stranger is the ball gag she made you wear while doing it. And the fact that you have the ball gag in a glass trophy case is well, fucked up!!! I suggest you throw the gag away and diary about your hurt feelings..... FAG!!!
1. Being spanked by your mother until you were 21 for anything from forgetting to take the trash out to molesting small cats isn't normal. What is even stranger is the ball gag she made you wear while doing it. And the fact that you have the ball gag in a glass trophy case is well, fucked up!!! I suggest you throw the gag away and diary about your hurt feelings..... FAG!!!
nd one as you have clearly shown you cannot handle your booze. I mean, really, crying in my arms everytime your drunk can get a little tiresome! I don't care that your uncles dressed you up in girls clothing and got rich selling your photo's to "worldsmostfuckedupkids.com"
4. YOU ARE ADOPTED!!!!! And when after 2 days your mom realized she made a huge mistake, she tried to drown you by putting you in a burlap sack, and throwing you in the river. This is why you are terrified yet strangely drawn to the red river!
Posts
